


My Hope Shines Through As Desparation

by FlyingSeaLion



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Angst, Denial of Feelings, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Long-Distance Friendship, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Quarantine, Questioning, Slow Burn, ear biscuits
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:20:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23744464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlyingSeaLion/pseuds/FlyingSeaLion
Summary: Wrapping up the weekly recording of an Ear Biscuit, Rhett can't seem to ignore that nagging feeling in his gut (which has once again resurfaced) when he thinks about Link.And it's made even more agonizing by the physical distance between them due to the Coronavirus lockdown. He hopes to let these feelings drown back to the deepest corners of his mind, but with little else to occupy himself, can he really hide from the truth any longer ?
Relationships: Rhett McLaughlin/Link Neal
Comments: 7
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

"Yeah, thanks for listening as always." Rhett says softly to the camera.  
"That just about wraps it up bud, what d'you think ?" Link takes a deep breath and stretches, feeling stiff from sitting still for over an hour.

Rhett smiled at his phone, having paid most of his attention over the last hour to the small screen.  
"Guess so, same time again tomorrow ?" He had meant it as a harmless joke, but the tone was a touch too sincere.

He busied himself by closing his laptop and moving the recording equipment around the table.  
Rhett could hear the smile on Link's face when he answered, "You bet."  
Even while trying to distract himself, Rhett felt his eyes light up. The kind of smile where your lips don't move, but your ears do. A genuine reaction. Something he knew Link wouldn't be able to see with the small screen he could see him through.

"Alright take care man, tell Jade Barbara says hi." At the mention of the names, Jade's head pops into the camera's view. She peers suspiciously at the phone, recognising the voice. After a moment of curiosity she notices her Dad's face right above her and licks his chin.  
"Eww Jade, stop." He carefully scoops her up and puts her back on his lap.

"Thanks a bunch." Link says, rolling his eyes.  
"Anytime."  
"Right I'll talk to you later about the video if anything comes up, the footage needs to be in by two-thirty."  
"I know, thanks." Rhett lingers a moment before reaching out to end the video call.

An odd feeling sits in his stomach, which his mind refuses to attribute to anything but hunger.  
A thousand mundane questions flash in his mind, but not a single one ends up leaving his mouth.  
He couldn't place why he didn't want this conversation to end. Maybe it was being home all the time, making him a little bored. Lonely even, compared to his typical, busy schedule he usually maintained while working with his best friend.

"You want that leash back ?"  
"What ?" Link blinks at the screen in confusion.  
"The er- the one you left here a while ago."  
"What, like a year ago ?"  
What was he thinking- he couldn't have chosen a more bizarre topic if he tried.

"Ah- Sorry, never mind, I'll see ya man."  
"You sure ?"  
When Rhett doesn't answer after a pause, Link let's it go.  
"Alright then, see ya."

The beep of the call ending seems to reverberate around the living room, but stops abruptly as a pang in his heart.

Rhett get up almost immediately, on instinct, after feeling this all too familiar feeling. It had been months since his last encounter with this. And after all of his research into putting an end to it... He sighs, exasperated, and moves to the kitchen to make himself some beans.

-

Rhett sends the files on to the team and eats his meal alone at the kitchen counter, catching up on emails and other inconsequential stuff, before his family begins to congregate in the room again, it springs back to life.

Barbara comes in with the boys, she catches Rhett's eyes and happily bounds over to him. He catches her under the arms and teases her with a silly voice, just far enough away so that she can't lick his face.

What is it with dogs doing that anyway... He remembers seeing Jade with Link almost an hour ago.

Link... And there it is again. That rise in the pit of his stomach. A nervousness ? A reflex ? Or more likely, a call from his subconscious to acknowledge what he needs to confront, but all these years has tried desperately to avoid.

It's not just the simple fact that he misses Link these days, because of course he's great company, made even clearer by such a drastic time like this.

It's that damn curiosity that he never had the courage to follow through with, nor the willpower to forget about.

It would be a little dramatic to say these thoughts haunt his dreams, but the panic he feels when recalling the dreams in some mornings, seems enough to deem them nightmares.

In the safety and privacy of his dreams, Rhett would imagine what it would feel like to be with Link. The small things, like waking up in the morning to him, or being allowed to smile at him for just a while longer- To truly enjoy the connection they shared.

If he weren't such a coward he would ask Link about how he feels, to put an end to the ambiguity... And of course, the hope.

But instead he picks up Barbara, and settles on the sofa with his family to watch a movie.

One that he can't catch a word of, so focused instead on figuring out what the hell he was going to do now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any thoughts on this first chapter :) ?
> 
> Comments would mean an even faster update, I appreciate the feedback :D


	2. Chapter 2

Cold.

That's how Rhett feels when he's wakes to find Barbara licking him in the morning.

Jessie's already left the room, and the bed is frigid now. Rhett sinks, emotionally, thinking he'd still have company if someone else had been here through the night.

It's not even wistful thinking, it's just hurtful. To himself. Wanting something from the bottom of his heart, but there being no conceivable way of attaining it. Not now.

Thinking about this, he's brought back to his childhood, learning in church about the sins. He can't narrow down which one he's acting upon right now, but he'll be damned if it doesn't carry with it those old feelings of shame and guilt.

He thought he'd dealt with the whole gay thing decades ago, back in college. Even then he didn't have a problem with it, he knew those kinds of people, had a friend like that- But he was absolutely not one of them. Not even a little bit...

Rhett's attention is brought back to the room when Barbara scuttles out of his arms, onto the rug beside the bed, ready to help with Dad's morning ritual of yoga.

For a while he's distracted from his philosophising, as soon as he moves to sit up, the ache and tension in his back is the only thing he cares about easing.

-

After a brief outing to the nearest store, Rhett finds himself back on the road.

Only it's not the road home, instead something unnamed inside him has decided it would be 'hilarious' to visit Link. Or maybe his self control was even weaker than he thought.

In record time, with the slightly diminished traffic congestion, he pulls up along Link's driveway. It wasn't often he visited anymore, being so busy with everything else, and he knew Link wouldn't take this well.

He seemed to be taking the whole lockdown situation a lot more seriously. It seems Rhett's own Doomsday agenda and planning has made him oblivious to the mass panic erupting around the globe.

He glances at the house for a while, considering darting away before anyone has a chance to see him- A small figure appears in the nearest window, and with his own window cracked open, he hears a muffled bark.

A spike of panic hits him now at the thought of being found out. He clutches the wheel, looking out at the road, ready to move off... But he doesn't want to chicken out after making this whole detour. He decides to wait until someone sees him, and if not then he'll go-

"Yes?"

"Jesus, Link !" Rhett starts, thankful his hands were secure on the wheel, so they didn't jump like the rest of his body.

"Sorry I didn't mean to visit..." His mind blanked, trying to conjure a reason for being here at Link's house.

Link chuckled and inched further down his driveway, but still kept about 10 feet away. "S'fine, you could've told me man... I know how dang boring days are lately."

Rhett tipped his head in agreement, "Been out to the house ?"

Their house. Though Rhett had been the one who pushed to get it in the first place. Always him instigating these things.

"Naw, been swamped with work and the kids, they're driving me nuts."

"Same here brother, you'd think we'd have more down time now, away from the office and all."

Link paused, seemingly hesitant to ask, "Why are you here really ?"

If the sight of Jade had been a mild surprise, what he felt now was terror. But he didn't falter. "Just felt like a drive, the view's nice out here this time of day." 

Something he could only know from intently listening to the most mundane things Link tends to chatter on about.

Link hummed, smiling at his friend, eyebrows raised in wonder and amusement.

Rhett looked at him again, during the pause.

Wearing whatever coat had been nearest the door over pyjamas, and his ragged slippers, that were older than some of his kids. That was the Link he was so fond of.

Rhett mirrored Link's expression in response. Link shrugged then, satisfied with the lame answer.

"I better get back in, playing Monopoly. Gonna make millions."

"Again ?" Rhett joked.

Link groaned a little, still not entirely comfortable with that whole thing. "Dude, that's not just mine, it's belongs to our whole company."

"Guess that makes me a two-millionaire if you don't want your share."

"Screw you," Link laughed, without an ounce of malice. Rhett craved this easy banter.

He turned the key in the ignition, and nodded his farewell, eyes back on the road to leave-

"One more thing," Link said in a louder voice than just a second ago, to make sure Rhett would hear.

"Tell Barbara that Jade says hi."

Rhett beamed at him, shaking his head, "Those two, eh ?"

Link smiled back, and waved, "See ya Rhett."

Rhett drove off before he could waste any more of Link's time.

He closed his window and turned up the radio a bit. But even a dozen minutes later as he pulled in home, that smile he shared with Link hadn't left his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading !
> 
> I'm really enjoying writing this, the story seems to be taking it's own path, I don't have to think too much about it :)
> 
> Stick around for more, if you'd like.


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